Killing Loneliness
by xtOUCH tHE sKY
Summary: Jack Mercer has overcome so much in his life, but when he becomes seriously ill during his junior year in high school, will he even have the will to continue to fight for his life?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: Jack Mercer has been through so much in his life, but when he becomes seriously ill during his junior year in high school, will he even have the will to continue to fight for his life?

**AN: This isn't my first story, but it is the first one I've written that involves doctors and hospitals and all that jazz, so please don't give me too hard of a time if I don't get everything exactly right, but I will do the best I can to make it seem realistic. And also, I decided to change the ages of the brothers to make it fit the story more so Jack is 16 and a junior, Angel is 17 and is a senior, Jerry is 19 and going to school at a local college, and Bobby is 21 and lives in a small apartment close-by.**

**C h a p t e r** O n e

Jack shut his locker and rested his head against the cool metal. He felt extremely tired and it wasn't even noon yet. He closed his eyes, wishing for the time to fly by so he could go home and sleep. At least it was Friday, so he would have the whole weekend to get some rest.

"Whoa... you look like shit," Monica Mitchell said bluntly as she approached Jack's locker. Monica and Jack had been best friends ever since he moved to Detroit in 6th grade.

Jack turned around and opened his eyes. "I could say the same for you," he shot back dully.

"Hey," she said defensively, holding up her hands in a surrendering manner. "I'm just stating the obvious. No need to get all pissed off."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just really tired."

"Jeez, I swear you're more moody than me sometimes." She looked up, appearing to be in deep thought, before adding, "You have been looking paler than normal lately... if that's even possible..."

Jack couldn't help but smile. She always seemed to make him laugh even when he tried his hardest to be mad at her.

"Seriously though, you should go see a doctor or something. I'm kind of worried about you." Jack smirked at her last comment. "Repeat that to anyone and I'll kill you," she added.

"I always knew you wanted me—" he began when the bell rang, cutting him off and signaling the beginning of class.

"Shit." Jack and Monica said in unison before hurrying down the hall towards Mrs. Holladay's English class. Jack opened the door and they walked inside. Unfortunately, Mrs. Holladay had already begun class so they couldn't slip in unnoticed.

"Jack, Monica. How nice of you to join us," she said turning from the board to face them.

"Mrs. Holladay, how nice of you to finally shave of that beard of yours." Jack said, sitting down in his seat. The rest of the class snickered and Monica gave their teacher an apologetic look before also sitting in her desk.

"I'll be expecting you both this afternoon for a two hour detention."

Jack rolled his eyes. "No fucking way." He didn't have time for this.

"Mr. Mercer, shall I make it three?"

"Whatever," he said, slumping down in his chair.

The rest of the day went by somewhat slowly, and Jack couldn't wait to get out of there when the last bell finally rang. He walked to his locker to put away some text books and saw Monica already there waiting for him.

"Hey," he greeted as he opened his locker and shoved the books inside.

"I figured we could head over to the detention room together," she said, picking at her nail polish.

"Oh yeah." Jack said as he swung his backpack over his shoulder. "I kinda forget about that."

"Well... that's what you have me for," Monica replied, still picking at her nails.

Jack shrugged. "I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Cause I don't feel like it."

"Suit yourself, I can't afford a Saturday school for skipping one measly detention." She said before turning around and heading for the detention room down the hall. "Call me later."

Jack headed home. It was snowing outside and his jacket didn't seem to be doing much against the cold, but luckily he only lived a few blocks away. When he reached the house and walked inside, almost immediately smelling the aroma of his mother's cooking.

"Hey Ma," he said as walked past the kitchen on his way up to his room.

"Hi honey!" she said back in her usually cheerful voice. "Dinner will be ready in about an hour."

" 'Kay." When he reached his room he immediately threw his backpack down and practically collapsed on his bed. Angel normally stayed out for a while after school and Jerry didn't normally get home until around five o'clock so Jack knew he would have at least a few minutes of peace and quiet.

Downstairs Evelyn finished dinner just as Jerry walked in the door.

"Ahh, you made it just in time." Evelyn greeted her son.

"Great, I'm starving," he said, setting his bags down.

"Will you go get your brothers for me?"

"Yeah, sure." Jerry headed up the stairs. Angel was downstairs in a hurry, but Jack wasn't so easy to get up.

"Jack, get your ass out of bed and get downstairs already." Jerry said, starting to lose his patience.

"I'm not hungry," he said, still not moving.

"You're never hungry." Jerry said, grabbing Jack's arm and practically dragged him out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen table.

They said grace and everyone began to eat, except Jack. As usual, Angel and Jerry eating as if it were their last meal.

"Jack, are you feeling alright?" Evelyn asked, concern etched in her voice. "You're not eating anything."

Jack continued to rearrange the food on his plate with his fork. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just not hungry."

"You don't look fine. Maybe we should take you to the doctor."

Jack shook his head. He hated doctors. "Can I be excused? I'm really tired." He stood up and put his plate in the sink.

Evelyn gave him another concerned look but let him leave anyway.

Jack was about halfway up the stairs when he suddenly felt dizzy. Shaking it off, he continued upstaris and went into his room. He laid back on his bed and rubbed his temples. No matter how much he tried to convince himself, he knew he was anything but fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**C h a p t e r **T w o

**AN: YAY! I finally got this chapter written. I couldn't decide how I wanted to get Jack to the doctor and so on, so I kept rewriting it, but I finally got it how I wanted :) Not much happens in this chapter other than Jack's diagnosis, but I have to set up the story before I can get into the good stuff.  
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I did my research, lol, and Arbor is a city that isn't too far (about 45 minutes) from Detroit and the University of Michigan Cancer Center is an actual hospital there, so I didn't make that part up. I did look up the medical procedures and stuff, but I'm not a doctor so I don't know everything technical, but I did my best. **

**And I want to give another HUGE thank you to all of those who reviewed! I know I thanked all of you personally, but I just want ya'll to know how important your reviews are. When I read them, it gives me a lot of motivation to write new chapters. With all that finally said, I hope you all like this chapter!**

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Jack woke up to a knock on his bedroom door. He had a throbbing headache. Glancing at the clock he saw that it was already 4:36pm. 

Groaning, he answered, "Yeah?"

His door opened and he saw Evelyn come in with a tray of food.

"I'm not really hungry, Ma," he said, sitting up in his bed.

"You haven't eaten anything all day. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"For the millionth time, yes. I feel fine, I'm just really tired."

Evelyn didn't believe him, but decided not to press the matter. "Well, you should still eat something. You look like you've lost weight."

Jack shrugged and Evelyn left his room. He sighed and fell back against his pillow. He couldn't believe it was already almost five o'clock. He must've been more tired than he thought.

By the time Jack arrived at school on Monday, his headache still hadn't gone away. It was making it hard to focus. Evelyn had finally convinced Jack to let her take him to the doctor and he was almost relieved when she came and picked him up around one that afternoon. He needed to get away from the noise of the crowded halls.

When they reached the clinic it was extremely crowded, full of crying babies and screaming kids. They filled out the paperwork and sat down to wait to be called into one of the back rooms. Jack couldn't sit still. Everything about this place made him uncomfortable.

"It's just a check-up, Jack. Would you calm down?" Evelyn said, trying to calm his nerves.

Another hour passed before Jack was finally called into one of the examination rooms. Evelyn waited for his return in the lobby. She flipped through several magazines, frequently glancing at her watch. Almost another hour had passed and she started to get impatient. What could be talking him so long? All they needed to do was give him a prescription so he could finally get over this flu bug he's had and send him on his way.

A door leading to the examining rooms opened and a tall female nurse stood in the doorway.

"Evelyn Mercer?"

Evelyn quickly stood.

"Follow me, please," the woman said, leading her to the room where Jack was. Evelyn entered and saw Jack sitting in a chair watching a tall man write in some type of folder.

Noticing her presence, the doctor looked up from his papers to introduce himself. He gave Evelyn a warm smile and motioned for her to take a seat next to Jack.

"Ms. Mercer? I'm Doctor Edwards," he said shaking her hand and taking a seat across from her and Jack.

"Please, call me Evelyn. Is there something wrong with my son?" She was beginning to get nervous. She glanced at Jack and he had a blank expression on his face.

"I listened to his symptoms and did a routine check up. I noticed a few swollen glands so I did some blood work and I'm concerned about his white blood cell count. It's higher than it should be," he explained.

"What does that mean?" Evelyn asked.

"Well, it could mean a number of things, but we need to run more tests."

"More tests?" Jack asked with a groan, sliding down in his chair.

"Yes," Dr. Edwards replied sympathetically. "Unfortunately, you'll need to be in the hospital in order for us to run them. "

"Hospital? You didn't say anything about hospitals." Jack said, sitting back up in his chair.

"We don't have the machines or staff to do the test in the local clinics or hospitals in Detroit." He suddenly turned serious and looked at Jack. "You'll need to go home and pack your things and drive straight to the University of Michigan Medical Center in Ann Arbor."

Jack became rigid in his seat. "Right _now_! "

"The sooner you check in the better."

"No fucking way! I have hockey practice this afternoon!"Jack was practically shouting now."You told me this was supposed to just be a check-up!" he said, turning to Evelyn.

"Jack, I think it's best that we do as he says," she told him calmly.

"Good." Dr. Edwards said, closing the open folder in his lap. You're to be there as soon as possible. Everything will already arranged by the time you get there."

It seemed like all to soon Jack arrived at the university's Medical Center. Jack couldn't help but feel out of place while a nurse showed him and his Mom to the room he'd be staying in. It was a large room that had two beds, both of which were empty, and were separated by a thin curtain. The nursed gave them a bunch of information about what was about to happen and things such as visiting hours, meals, etc.

Jack changed into the pastel blue pants and matching shirt they gave him to wear and lay down on the bed. Another nurse came in and fitted him with an IV and told him that his doctor would be in with him shortly.

"I can't believe this is happening," he said, still not being able to wrap his head around everything that had gone on in the last few hours.

"I know, sweetie." Evelyn walked over to him a put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I called your brothers, they should be here soon."

A tall man in a white lab coat entered with a cheery smile on his face. "Good evening, I'm Dr. Haskell. I'll be your doctor here for a while."

"Hi." Jack said dully. The cheeriness the doctor had in his voice annoyed him.

The doctor explained that he needed to go for a CT scan later this evening. He then went on to explain that they would need to perform a surgery called a bone marrow biopsy. During the procedure a hollow needle would be inserted into his hipbone and a small amount of marrow would be taken out for examination. At the same time they would aslo remove some tissue froma gland in his neck.

"When are you gonna do all this?" Jack asked eagerly.

"We have you scheduled for surgery at nine o'clock tomorrow morning."

"Great." Jack said sarcastically. He would give anything to be at home right now. It seemed like just when things were finally going good everything came crashing down.

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**I have most of the next chapter written, so it should be up soon! Don't forget to review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Man, I'm on a roll! Sorry I didn't get to respond to all of my reviews, internet has been kind of weird so my so I got to respond to some, but not all. So I just want to make sure everyone know thatI REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOUR REVIEWS! And I hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything! (Oops, I've been forgetting to say that)

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**C h a p t e r **T h r e e

The surgery wasn't as bad as Jack thought it was going to be. He was back in his room by around eleven o'clock that morning. Afterwards his hip was kind of sore and his neck hurt where they took some tissue from one of his glands, but other that that he was fine.

For the two days that Jack had to wait for the results of the biopsy Angel, Bobby, and/or Jerry would come to the hospital to keep him company when Evelyn couldn't get off work.

Around three o'clock Friday afternoon Bobby, Evelyn and Jack were sitting in his hospital room. They were mainly trying to keep his hopes up so he wouldn't get too depressed about the situation. Bobby could tell Jack was getting apprehensive about what news his doctor would bring. He couldn't seem to sit still and kept making excuses to get up and move around.

"Would you stop twitching like an eight year old hyped up on too much caffeine?" Bobby finally asked.

"I'm not twitching." Jack said defensively.

Finally Dr. Haskell entered the room carrying a thick folder. Jack sat up in his bed, swinging his long legs over the edge. He noticed that Dr. Haskell didn't look as cheerful as the other times he had seen him and he immediately got a knot in the pit of his stomach. He greeted everyone kindly and then turned to Jack looking serious.

"I've got the results of all your tests here," Dr. Haskell began, referring to the folder in his hand. "And I'm afraid I don't have much good news."

"Okay," Jack said slowly.

"The name of your condition is called acute myeloid leukemia."

Jack hung his head momentarily but didn't say anything. Dr. Haskell went on to explain the results of the tests in further detail, but Jack wasn't really listening. The word leukemia kept going through his head. Dr. Haskell started talking about treatments and said something about chemotherapy being their best option.

"...Our goal is to put your cancer into remission. You'll start your treatments tomorrow."

"Will I get to go back to school?" Jack never thoughtthat he would actually _want_ to go back to school, but at this point he just wanted everything to go back to how they used to be. "And what about hockey? Will I get to play again?"

"I wouldn't advise you to play any contact sports for a while because your body's ability to heal won't be as same as it used to be. But once you adjust to your treatments, you'll carry on your regular life."

Jack nodded.

He went on explain how they could put a device called a catheter into a large vein in his chest. The opening of the catheter will be on the outside, which is where he was going to receive his cancer treatments so they wouldn't have to stick him with needles all the time.

"Any more questions for me?"

"No." Jack responded dully.

"Then I guess I'll see you in the morning," he announced. He gave Jack an encouraging smile and left the room.

"Shit." Jack muttered to himself. "So much for the fucking flu."

"It looks like you'll finally be getting rid of that mess of hair you have," Bobby said, trying uselessly to keep the mood light. He opened his mouth to say something else, but closed it again when Evelyn gave him a stern look.

"Not everyone who has chemo therapy loses their hair. Everyone reacts differently." Evelyn said, looking on the bright side.

Jack looked at her. "What if I don't want to do this? Why can't we just go home and forget about this whole mess?"

"Without the treatments you aren't going to get any better." Evelyn said softly.

"I'm so sick of always having to fight for my life. I thought I was done with that shit."

Evelyn wished she could take away all of his pain, but she knew that she couldn't. She wanted to break down and cry, but knew it wouldn't do any good and she needed to be strong for Jack. She only hoped that Jack would stay strong so too he could fight this disease and get healthy again.

They transferred Jack to the cancer center of the hospital so he would be ready for his chemo in the morning. The room was similar to the old one. The walls were painted a warm pink color instead of plain white like his other room which gave it a more comfortable feel. Half of the room had pictures and 'get well soon' cards all along the wall, yet both beds were empty and neatly made.

Once Jack had settled in Evelyn and Bobby left, but promised to be back early the next morning with Angel and Jerry.

Jack began to get bored and turned on the small TV, flipping through every channel several times before finally turning it off. He sighed and reached over to turn of the small lamp that lit his side of the room and sunk back into his bed. Staring at the ceiling he waited for sleep to come. He couldn't help but think about what was about to happen tomorrow. Everything had happened so fast and reality was finally setting in.

He heard a rustling noise at the door and looked over to see what it was. A nurse was pushing a thin girl sitting in a wheelchair into the room. She was about his age and a green headscarf covered her head. Once the nurse saw that she had settled into her bed she left, leaving the two of them alone in the silence.

The girl looked over at Jack as if noticing him for the first time. "Um, hey," she said with a warm smile. "I'm Camryn." She adjusted the sheets on her bed and turned on her side to face him.

"I'm Jack."

"Nice to meet you, Jack." She paused as if realizing something and then said, "I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other for a while then."

Jack heard the apparent sadness in her voice and was confused by it. "Yeah I guess so."

There was a short pause before Camryn suddenly said, "I'm really tired so I'm going to get some sleep."

"Oh ok..." He wasn't really sure of what to say. "...Goodnight..."

"Yeah," was all she said in response.

Jack looked at her, kind of confused. She turned over on her other side so her back was facing him. She acted like him being here was somehow a burden to her. Maybe she didn't like having a roommate or something. Jack pushed the situation out of his head. He had bigger things to worry about, like how in the hell he was supposed to survive the long months ahead of him.


End file.
